Snooker: Boats and Arms
Now, I don't know if this is only getting to me, ....but it certainly IS getting to me! And what a better place to complain about it than my own blog! :-)
Snooker commentators seem to be confused about certain English sayings and phrases. I think it was John Virgo that started the trend of saying an incorrect English phase or saying when trying to be more elaborate about certain shots that players were playing.
I have to quickly state before I go any further that generally I like the snooker coverage supplied by various channels, and I like Virgo, Taylor, Thorne et al. They do know their stuff as they're all ex-players (although some of them might struggle bending over a snooker table these days) and they can be witty, opinionated, diplomatic etc, depending on which commentator we're talking about.
BUT, it seems that when a player "chances his arm", every commentator has jumped on the Virgo bandwagon and they all now seem to think he's "pushed the boat out". Straight away I have to state here that originally I'm from Yorkshire, so I know exactly what "pushing the boat out" means, as folk from round my way didn't do it very often! :-)
Pushing the boat out is something my old man does when he's at a party, pub, restaurant, or on holiday with people he likes. He gets his wallet out, brushes off the cobwebs, and gets more than his fair share of rounds in at the bar. The next morning he'll check his wallet and say, "Crikey! I pushed the boat out a bit last night!", meaning he spent a little more of his hard earned cash than he really wanted to.
What Virgo et al should be saying when players like Ebdon and Dott go for a pot is, "he chanced his arm there a bit!"
Chancing your arm is something my old man does when he's at the golf club having a quick drink after a 18 holes. His mates will be badgering him for another drink and he knows he's near the drink driving limit. But he's having a good time with his mates, and besides, his best mate Tommy is in the middle of a decent story, ...so he'll go to the bar get another drink, then he'll "chance his arm" and drive home hoping no pigs, ...erm, sorry, policemen will pull him over (If there are any police reading this and getting worried, ...I'm making this story up OK!). It's worth noting that while at the bar, he might have been in the process of pushing the boat out as well.
So come on John, Steve, Dennis, Clive and Willie, get your English phrases right!
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2 comments:
Snooker loopy nuts are we
Me and him and them and me
We'll show you what we can do
With a load of balls and a snooker cue
Pot the reds then, skrew back
For the yellow green brown blue pink and black
Snooker loopy nuts are we
We're all snooker loopy
Now ol' Milo as we all know's
Got loadsa dappa suits
London bred and he keeps his head
'Though he's got Italian roots
Emotional but he keeps his cool
'Til he reaches the finals
And whether he wins or whether he don't
'I always bite me eyeballs'
Now our friend Den, hours he spent
Down the snooker hall
On the old green baize his mates seem amazed
At skills with a snooker ball
And them long shots, he never ever got
Why? The old mind boggles
But nowadays he pots the lot
'Cos I wear these goggles'
Snooker loopy nuts are we
Me and him and them and me
We'll show you what we can do
With a load of balls and a snooker cue
Pot the reds then, skrew back
For the yellow green brown blue pink and black
Snooker loopy nuts are we
We're all snooker loopy
Now Terry the taff was born in a gaff
In the valleys of the land of song
And as the reds he puts to bed
He likes to sing along
And if I win he says with a grin
It can only help me can't it
I'll celebrate, I'll buy another eight
'Hairbrushes for me barnet'
Now old Willy Thorne his hair's all gone
And his mates all take the rise
His opponent said cover up his head
Cos it's shining in my eyes
When the light shines down on his bare crown
It's a cert he's gonna walk it
It's just not fair giving off that glare
'Perhaps I ought to chalk it'
Snooker loopy nuts are we
Me and him and them and me
We'll show you what we can do
With a load of balls and a snooker cue
Pot the reds then, skrew back
For the yellow green brown blue pink and black
Snooker loopy nuts are we
We're all snooker loopy
Now Steve last year come very near
To winning the snooker crown
But he never got to put it on his ginger nut
Cos the black ball wouldn't go down
His manager of all said 'Sod that ball'
But it helped him make his mind up
Now he don't care who wins this year
'Cos he's got the rest of us signed up'
Snooker loopy nuts are we
Me and him and them and me
We'll show you what we can do
With a load of balls and a snooker cue
Pot the reds then, skrew back
For the yellow green brown blue pink and black
Snooker loopy nuts are we
We're all snooker loopy
Snooker loopy nuts are we
Me and him and them and me
We'll show you what we can do
With a load of balls and a snooker cue
Pot the reds then, skrew back
For the yellow green brown blue pink and black
Snooker loopy nuts are we
We're all snooker loopy
Snooker loopy nuts are we
We're all snooker loopy
Snooker loopy nuts are we.....
We're all snooker loopy
Yes thanks, "Anonymous" the famous Chaz N' Dave, "Snooker Loopy" song. Sang with the Matchroom Mob, top snooker players from 1986 who were all under Barry Hearn's management wing!
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